True Hearts Desire...or Something Else??
I would like to discuss feelings of the heart. From the beginning of a new relationship there always seems to be that glow feeling. The butterflies in your tummy, the can't stop staring at the person you have finally found, the level of attraction you feel. In the beginning all those feelings are there, but barely. A few more months in, you might get to know the person more and those feelings are likely to grow deeper. You start to get the comfortable feeling with them. Nothing seems to be embarrassing anymore, you feel so close to them. So what is it that happens to make all those feelings seem to go away. It's not the first argument or fight. It sometimes seems to pop out of nowhere. If you really looked into yourself, you may find that it wasn't so sudden after all. It is like all those little quirks that you first found adorable or tolerable, those seem to just build up under the surface. They were only adorable or not that bad because we were in the "love bubble". When you feel your bubble isn't as strong as it once was, that is when the little things that you didn't notice or chose to ignore out of love before, they come crashing in your mind all at once. This makes me angry..I do it and I am sure a lot of other people do it too. Why?? Are we just lying to ourselves in the beginning? Is it just the infatuation phase of the new relationship? How are we ever supposed to truly trust ourselves with our own hearts if we knowingly do this?? I have been in several relationships. Seems no matter what I felt in the beginning or the things that I didn't feel were that bad at first...my eyes seem to finally adjust to the true light of that person. Was I just being needy or selfish to want them?? Did I not see those traits before?? Why do we allow ourselves to walk into a future battlefield of our minds and hearts?? Loneliness?? Settling?? Is infatuation really any form of love or is it just loneliness, desperation, settling??